A Tuesday ramble

It’s week 5 (of an 8 week term) and I’m keeping pace with the lessons, assignments, and deadlines.

It’s the same at work; I’m keeping pace with tasks and deadlines. 

I’m treading water. Barely. I feel myself starting to tire, my head slowly slipping lower towards the water’s surface. 

“What’s wrong, son?” my mother asked, during our Thanksgiving visit. 

“I’m just trying to figure out next steps” I replied. 

She knew what my wife already knows. There’s a lot on my mind and I’m trying to make sense of it all. I’m trying to get a plan together, trying to figure out next steps. On multiple levels. 

What do I want to do tomorrow? This weekend? Next month? This year? What do I want to accomplish by the time I turn 45? 50? 65? I want to make a bigger difference but not sure how. I want to do such and such but not sure where to begin. 

I’m barely treading water yet I’m already trying to figure out what to do when I stand on shore. I’m missing the step(s) needed to get from treading to standing. I’m sinking because I’m not moving towards anything because I haven’t yet told myself to start swimming because I haven’t yet determine which direction I want to swim in. 

Life isn’t linear. I just need to pick a direction and go. If course corrections are needed, I’ll trust in myself to make them. 

Five things for the week

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  1. Rather than “punish” myself for not photographing as much as I want to, I’m just going to let it happen. Where “it” means “photography”. I’ll photograph when I damn well please. 
  2. I want to change out the template of this website but, not quite sure how yet. Just another thing to add to the list of things to do. 
  3. Cooking has become another creative outlet for me. This could be good, could be bad. 
  4. This week, I’m challenging myself to finsh a (recreational) book. I figure an hour of reading right before bed will accomplish this. This also means that I need to stay on track with work and school so that doesn’t “bleed” into my evening hours. 
  5. I have it good. I just need to remember that. Keep things in perspective. 

Recently read, watched, and listened

Read

I remember reading this when it was first released. I loved it. I love how honest and genuine it is. While browsing through the Libby app, I saw this was available and immediately checked it out. A nice, quick read later and it just reinforced how good this really is. 

Allie Brosh is just too good. 


Watched

CNN’s The Eightees. Just reliving some nostalgia while I work on other things (i.e. this was playing in the background). 

CNN’s The Nineties. Once you watch the The Eighties, you have to progress to the Nineties. Duh. These, overall, reminded me of any of the VH1 nostalgia shows they used to air though, the CNN series were more political than musically focused. It was good to reminisce. 


Listened

My unplayed podcasts has grown too long. Most of what I have listened to, this past week, are older episodes of some shows so that I can catch up. This includes The Moth, Radiolab, KCRW Good Food, and The Dave Chang Show. 

A Wednesday ramble

My appreciation for 80s music is increasing. Sure, it’s music from my youth (80s and 90s). Heavy Metal was my thing, which then turned more towards alternative. That was peppered by the still young rap music.  

But yeah, 80s pop was not my thing. I was aware of it. I was knowledgeable (as much as I chose to be) about it. I could name songs and artists but choosing to listen to it? Nope. 

Now, I appreciate it. All of it, whatever genre. There’s something about it that I just can’t yet describe with words. I just, enjoy it. 

Coincidentally, I had episode 7, of Netflix’s The Eighties, playing in the background the other day. It helped me better understand my own increasing appreciation. I think they say it best when they conclude that there were just so many good artists hitting their peak during that decade.

Really good artists. 

I’m a little remorseful that I didn’t give all of the genres their due while it was happening. I was following the opinions and “norms” of the people I wanted to associate myself with (as most of us do in our adolescence), and my mind was closed off as a result. 

I’m thankful that now, I can arrange an 80s playlist and just… listen. And appreciate. I can go further, deeper, listening to all Prince (he’s a damn genius) tracks for hours. I can immerse in Cyndi Lauper, The Go Gos, and Heart. Michael Jackson’s 80s catalog? Take away whatever tabloid new stories were happening at the time and just listen to his work. Another damn genius. 

Chrissie Hynde and the Pretenders. The Eurythmics. Depeche Mode (though, I feel like I have always loved them), The Bangles, Pat Benetar, Blondie, A Flock of Seagulls, The Police, INXS, Queen, Whitney Houston, Tears for Fears… and there’s so many more. 

Not sure now to end this post but, I’m going to go back into the 80s music rabbit hole now. *headphones on, press play*

A Tuesday ramble

The unwarranted criticism of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is cowardice. That she cannot, at 29 years old, afford an apartment in Washington, DC is not grounds for criticism. I’m 41 years old and cannot afford an apartment in DC. Age and income are not a measure of anything. They’re not a measure of character, of achievement, of ability. They’re just fucking numbers

We’re programmed to attack what we fear. We go on the offensive because we’re defensive. And we, as humans, are really bad at this. We don’t scale. Our switch from defense to offense is binary. 

Isn’t she what we want? Don’t we all, regardless of political beliefs, want our youth to step forward and make a difference? Don’t we want our youth to bring their voices to the conversation? We’re living this right now. We are witnessing this right now, especially with this new class of leaders just recently elected.  

We’re starting to see elected officials who truly represent us.

They represent our races, our background, our religions, and even those of us who cannot afford apartments in larger cities. There are people afraid of this? They’re so afraid, they went defensive, then switched to offense without stopping down to realize, well… anything. Cowards. 

Also, hat tip to Greg Fallis for this post, “It’s not about her clothes“. We are paying attention to the wrong things. 

A Monday ramble

This evening, I used the Instant pot to make beef stew again. It tasted better this time, not that last time tasted bad. This time just had more, flavor. This time I used more beef, and slightly more beef stock, so I’m sure that had something to do with it. Mmm, meat. 

No picture. I’m trying to ween myself away from taking pictures of food. The hope is to force myself to take pictures of other things. I think a big key to that is actually going outside, which I only did once today. And that was just to roll the trash cans from the driveway into the side yard. 

So, yeah. Get outside more. Yeah. 

Work work work, and then that transitioned into school work, school work, school work. By the time that was finished, I had to make dinner. Yeah yeah, I need to work on my routine and time management and taking breaks. Yeah yeah, I just wrote about this very thing last week. 

I do feel fairly accomplished and actually proud of the things I did, today. So there’s that. 

There’s quite a few things I could write about but, I’m weary of looking at a bright screen and my fingers are done with keyboards. Pen and paper is an option but then that would just magnify how tired my brain is. 

That beef stew was good. Nice and comforting. 

Five things for the week

  1. The lingering smoke, from the Camp Fire, caught up to me, putting me out of commission on Thursday and Friday.  Scratchy throat and itchy eyes, to say the least. The perspective? This is minor compared to what the fire victims are going through. 
  2. I’ve touched on this before but, my work is trending away from “mobile” and more towards desktop. I just like sitting down at a dedicated space, on a dedicated machine, to work. Ergonomics are better, too. (duh)
  3.  Though this week will be a short (work) week, it will be busy. As always, much to do. I’m gearing up for it. 
  4. We have been fine since reducing from two cars to one. Though, I find myself wanting a second one from time to time. Part of this is because it’s comfort. Part because I have always had my own car up until this past Summer. Sometimes I do get a little stir crazy. This is the ultimate test in understanding a need versus a want
  5. I think about becoming more… public. You know, promoting the blog more often, changing social media settings from private to public, and engaging in more (online) conversations regularly. I can’t quite put my finger on why but, there’s something keeping me from doing so.And I’m fine with that, for now. 

//So sad that I don’t really have a good photo to add to this post. I don’t think I picked up my camera once, this past week. That’s just not good.